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    No. I can’t. I just… Can’t.

    I can’t live there. No. I went home to use the printer (if I can even call that place “home”), because I thought it’d be easier to do that than have to unplug everything from my dad’s desktop and set it up for my laptop. And of course, my mom just had to say something. She told me to come over to her. She hugged me, and gave me all this sobstory bullshit about how she wants me to stay because I’ll be going to college in 5 months. How she wants me to stay with her. Heh.

    Never. Every time I go over there I hear all this bullshit. Get asked bullshit questions. And my sister blackmails me. “Oh, I’m just recording this to show the doctors so we can help you.” Bull fucking shit. No one blackmails someone to help them. They do it to hurt them, so that they’re the right one. So that they gain. Bull. Fucking. Shit.

    You know how my mom said she wants me to stay? Well after the conversation started and the lies and assumptions started pouring out, she said, “I wanna send you away to glove house.” Or whatever she said. Fuck that. There’s nothing wrong with me. They evaluated me at the hospital, when my mom tried to put me in the psych ward, and there’s nothing wrong with me. I’m just unhappy, and angry about my situation.

    My biggest pet peeves are when people assume something that’s completely wrong about me and don’t give me a chance, when my family tells me I’m crazy because I’m unhappy and get mad sometimes, like a normal human being, and when my mom tells me to “take my meds” when I get upset about something, as if I’m nutso.

    I cannot live there. I don’t care if there are things there that I don’t have here, like my big basement room and my nice things. Internet connection whenever and wherever I want. I don’t care about those petty material things, I care about being happy. Something I deserve to be and I don’t get there. I deserve to not feel like shit every day of my life.

    I just can’t even talk about it anymore. It’s just too much. I can’t even give examples of these problems because it’s what’s normal in my life. None of these bad situations seem to stand out, because they’re all bad. There’s no good in between to distinguish from.

    I just want my dad to have custody, for me to live with him, and for me to move on with my life, void of all these bullshit problems. I don’t wanna have to stop the things I’m doing in my life to deal with this shit anymore. I just wanna live.

    I went over there to print out things for my research paper. And did I get anything done? No. Am I going to tonight? Nope. Not when I’m incredibly upset. Thanks for wasting my time, mother. Leave me alone.

    12 notes
    Posted on Saturday, 25 February
    Tagged as: rant personal
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    1. the--waitress said: sorry your having trouble with you mom honey. i dont know the details (havent been on tumblr in a while) but stay positive and strong like we all know you are and you CAN and WILL get through this. deep breaths, baby, deep breaths. you got this.
    2. breamonster said: It seems like you have a really great relationship with your dad… That is something very rare and special. I think people mistake sensitivity with depression. You’re strong to not give into them trying to make you feel like you’re crazy.
    3. onefitmama said: Wow…. I’m so sorry! Trying to blackmail you? Honestly, what is UP with ‘family’ these days?! :( *internet hug*
    4. fitforinfinity said: I’m so sorry you have to deal with awful family bullshit :( I hope it gets better soon and that you’re out of that environment asap <3
    5. healthylivingforyou posted this